- “Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.”
- “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”
- “I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.”
- “The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman— it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.”
- “A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.”
- “Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them, you’ll find more than you ever imagined possible.”
(via sophie-carter)
#perhapsesIt’s terribly unfair that sperm are so limited in their choices of occupation for life. Perhaps there are many sperm who want more from life than just fertilizing eggs all day. Maybe they don’t want to be venturing down the uterus’ and such of strange women, maybe they would like to swim away to university or become accountants or bakers or zoo keepers or hat designers, but we’ll never know because all we ever do is demand things of them and pressure them. “Shoot away and fertilize! Go, go, go!” It must be really rough to be sperm.
#the word sperm is starting to not look like a word #perhapses
#perhapsesMy family is awesome like
Daddy he likes Assassin’s Creed
And Mummy loves cleaning
Holly loves the Public Library and walking
Izzy she cries a lot she is very sensitive
And me I’m awesome I have the power of awesomeness! Really I do
Thanks for reading my family book
James*
Sorry for the mistake with the sensitive I put sentences instead so I crossed it out
1. sentences + sensitive
Once there was a camel named Percival who tottered all around Washington one day for funsies in his mother’s high heels. Children pointed and laughed at Percival and he was sad. Just as he had decided to slide away into an abyss of rejection and high-heeled-and-humped despair a voice whispered to him, “You be whatever you want to be, Percival the Camel.” Percival turned around and Dick Cheney smiled at him lovingly. That was the moment Percival found true love. There was but one obstacle in the way of the path that was their mutual infatuation: Iran! Percival said to him, “Quagmire, my sweet prince. Change your mind in five years.” And then melted into the soft Arabian sand. Cheney was devestated and wrought by an aching depression. He followed his ex-camelly-lovers advice, however, to honor his memory. And the moral of this story is that I’ve truly not got a clue as to what you’re talking about, nor do I give a fuck’s hat about Dick Cheney or quagmire or the state of his mind.
There was a time when I plucked my eyebrows every night and then all of a sudden my ‘brows just underwent an extended period of stasis and I said “I’m going to grow them out because I have marred and abused them for so long that they should just be allowed to manifest along my face if they wish” and so I left them for a while and looking back on photos in the Chewbaca-brow period I truly do regret putting the tweezers away because it looks like furry caterpillars chose the spots above my eyes to lie down and die.
#perhapses
